Additional

I'm finding that I'm really looking forward to going home for break. I'm not terribly enthused about being in Wisconsin for much longer. This poses a number of problems for me though. I have friends here who are exerting pressure on me to stay and others who exert pressures to leave. I still haven't called Berklee to see if I have a definite 'in' but I think I know that the answer will be yes. If it is yes I don't know how I could forgive myself for passing it up. At the same time, I like the people out here, if not the scene. I suppose I could always put a band together and tour my ass out here to see my friends, and it's not like I'm particularly bad at saying a permanent goodbye. This brings me however, to trouble number two: Teresa. Moveing back east means guaranteed break-up. I know she's not optimistic enough to think a relationship between Wisconsin and the Commonwealth of Drugachusettes ("I declare this pizza to beeee......AWESOME!") will work at all. I'm certainly not, nor do I want to subject either of us to the kind of frustration that attempting that would entail. We also have great difficulty carrying on a convorsation on the phone, so even long distance communication would have to be by letter (because I refuse to carry on a relationship by e-mail or AIM, I don't care how many Friendster accounts or livejournals I get) which would probably loose its importance since I'm not in battle or anything. However, were I to continue at Beloiit there would be no harm/foul.So those of you who know me know that I spend waaaaaaay too much time being inwardly focussed on things that I should leave alone. I know that I should really be out there trying to solve the problems with race-ralations in the this country and trying to establish a libertarian government while simultaneously setting all financial debt and count to zero, but right now all I can think about is the end of the year. Well, that and the job I need to get. I work at the moment but I don't get paid so to speak. I am compensated and love the work I am doing so it doesn't matter too too much. Also, my bank account has supposedly been frozen since mid-October so even though my debit card was stolen, I have no reason to suspect that I have less than a grand in my bank account. That is easily enough to last me through next year, but after that I will be royally fucked. Actually come to think of it, the holiday season means that I am royally fucked right now.Meh. Who knows how royally fucked I actually am? I wonder actually though if that fact that I have to push myself very hard to be active in makeing my financial situation better means that I don't actually care about any of it. I suppose I could always bum a plane ticket out of my folks and go work at Rowe year round. That would be itneresting butt I'm willing to bet that it would also be highly unsatisfying. Maybe I'll bump up my campaign for Gov'nuh of New Hampshire. That doesn't take money right?