Tom's survey

If I were a month, I'd be: OctoberIf I were a day of the week, I'd be: thursday.If I were a time of day, I'd be: Early, early morning, If I were a planet, I'd be: Earth I think.If I were a sea animal, I'd be: Orca.If I were a direction, I'd be: north.If I were a sin, I'd be: lust.If I were a historical figure, I'd be: Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, or possibly Martin Luther King Jr.If I were a liquid, I'd be: probably Pabst Blue Ribbon.If I were a tree, I'd be: douglas fir.If I were a bird, I'd be: a raven, not just because of the blackness, but because they are the biggest, loudest, and most predatorial of all songbirds, the least loud, least big, and least predatorial class of birds.If I were a tool, I'd be: an occilloscope.If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: a joshua tree.If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: crisp fall.If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: a Darkastro.If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: oh take a wild fucking guess.If I were an animal, I'd be: a dog or wolf.If I were a color, I'd be: blacker than black ink.If I were an emotion, I'd be: ambivalence.If I were a vegetable, I'd be: unedible.If I were a sound, I'd be: the sound that Hendrix makes during Voodoo Chile (Slight Return), the Woodstock recording, at about 9:37.If I were an element, I'd be: earth.If I were a car, I'd be: a Dodge Challenger.If I were a song, I'd be: something without words.If I were a movie, I'd be: a classic movie that you would namedrop to your friends so they would think you were smart and had good taste.If I were a book, I'd be: East of Eden.If I were a food, I'd be: delivery pizza.If I were a place, I'd be: Joshua Tree national park or my dear hometown, Concord, NH.If I were a material, I'd be: Maple wood.If I were a taste, I'd be: Dead Guy Ale.If I were a scent, I'd be: I am a scent and it isn't good.If I were a religion, I'd be: DISCORDIANISM!If I were a word, I'd be: yert (alternate spellings include but are not limited to: yurt, yirt, jyrt, jourt, jourte, jert)If I were an object, I'd be: a jacket.If I were a body part, I'd be: two fingers: the index and the pinky.If I were a facial expression, I'd be: the one that says PA-TEEEEE PA-TING KWAH KWAH!If I were a subject in school, I'd be: music or poly-sci.If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: the cartoon James Hetfield. What am I saying? I practically am a cartoonb character.If I were a shape, I'd be a: bent outIf I were a number, I'd be: elevety billion.